The Dreaded Public Shower Boner and What it Can Teach Us About Male Sexuality



When the topic of public nakedness turns to communal showering one subject frequently raises it's head (pun intended): The dreaded shower or locker room boner. And the conversation is much more interesting than one might expect!


In this group dedicated to communal showers at TrueNudists, the straight men like to frequently mention that popping wood at the sight of naked men is not a gay thing. Like the love of ass play, it is a guy thing, as is totally checking out other guys' cocks. As a gay man, I get why I check out other guys. For guys who identify as straight, this causes confusion. You can read the confusion in posts like this one titled, "I'm a Straight Man, But Men's Locker Rooms Really Turn Me On."


When two men see each other naked for the first time the eyes of both men will go immediately to the other guy's cock. Scientists have used eye tracking technologies to measure this. While differences in sexual orientation are clear (with gay men spending significantly more time focusing on other guy's cocks) straight guys definitely like checking out other guy's dicks and are involuntarily driven to do so. These facts cast male sexuality in a very interesting light, particularly when combined with other things we have previously discussed in this blog. Lets quickly review a couple of them:


  • Straight guys are just as into ass play and anal stimulation as gay men. It is about physical stimulation more than it is about sexual orientation.


  • Straight guys engage in same-sex sex at very high rates. From bro-jobs to M4M hookups, lots of men who identify as straight are having a lot of gay sex, including getting fucked by other men. (Note: if you like ass play, there can be no doubt that nothing feels better up your ass than an actual cock. No sex toy can really simulate that feeling. And, the same is true for straight men.)


To these add the fact that many straight guys like to check out other guys, and are prone to getting hard when they are around other naked men and it becomes very clear that the lines between "gay" and "straight" are very blurry. We treat them as though they are discrete categories, when, in fact, they are not.


Maybe we should stop labeling ourselves heterosexual or homosexual and simply acknowledge that we are, at our cores, highly social and sexual creatures who are far more similar than we are different. It is also very likely that homophobia is the fear of these aspects of ourselves.


Fear of popping a boner in the shower with other guys is likely driven by internalized homophobia that we would all do well to get rid of, however we choose to label our sexuality.



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