Why Straight Men Love Gay Sex


From brojobs to MSM and M4M hook up sites (bathroom stalls, parks and other public spaces) lots of straight men are having gay sex in all kinds of ways

I'll say right up front that I used to be one of those reportedly "straight" guys who get caught having gay sex were undoubtably closet cases. After doing some reading about male sexuality, I realized I was wrong, most importantly because male sexuality and behavior are often too complex to be fit neatly into the simplistic boxes of "gay" or "straight.'


I should probably say right off that when I use the term "gay" I am using it to describe men that are exclusively or predominantly attracted men. Similarly, I refer to men who are predominantly attracted to women as "straight." Getting these definitions set out is helpful, because it really means the question, "Why would straight men like gay sex?" could also be asked, "why would men like sex with someone to whom they are not attracted?" When asked that way, the answer can be more obvious.


Researchers into male sexuality do not agree on all things. One thing they do agree on is that men, in general, have less emotional attachment to sex. One night stands, quick flings and hook ups are more natural for them than they are for women. There is some disagreement about whether that characteristic is innately "male" or whether it is due to social programming or some combination. But, the fact that men are good (generally) at separating sex from relationship is very well accepted. It can more easily be a simple act of physical stimulation than it is anything else. If a man is already aroused, or is good at getting himself aroused, he does not need help from his partner.


For a man who thinks of sex as the act of physical stimulation and who is already horny as hell, any warm wet hole will do. And, given that at most gay cruising sites it is relatively easy to find a guy who will happily suck your cock or let you fuck, without the emotional drama of the dating scene, many straight guys find that hook ups with other men are easier to get and deal with. For straight men who love prostate stimulation (which is nearly all of them) the equation gets even more complicated because of the social taboos we have around ass play.


A straight man who likes anal stimulation may find it hard to ask his wife (to who whom he is legitimately attracted) to strap on a dildo so she can fuck him. Yet, he can get that same stimulation at the glory hole next to the showers at the truck stop down the road.

Another obvious reason straight guys give brojobs to their buddies (an more): to receive, you must give (often times).


One thing that is absolutely clear: When men have sex together, they can form emotional bonds. These bonds were - according to all of the research - evolutionary advantageous to tribal societies that relied on tightly bonded patriarchies for their survival. In other words, guys having gay sex was good for social cohesion.

In a nutshell, labels like gay and straight fail us when we try to think about things as complex as sexual behavior. We might be better off to realize that we are all sexual and that our own sexual pleasures, desires and behaviors are uniquely our own and range across a wide number of spectrum.

Read more at these interesting links: The Phenomenon of 'Bud Sex' Between Straight Rural Men

Can Straight Men Love Gay Sex? A Therapist Weights In.

Confession: Yes. As a Straight Man I Hook Up with Gay Men

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